Here's Glenn Beck having a peaceful discussion with one of his many loyal fans.

Prada sunglasses, girl jeans, fat. Millions of fatties rejoiced yesterday when Guy Trebay of the New York Times announced the latest new fad. The sumo look. Guy has done much research regarding the matter, and maintains 'hipsters' are purposely gaining weight because President Obama is in shape.

“If we had a slob in the White House, all the hipsters would turn into some walking Chippendales calendar,”

That's right stick it to the man! Sure rebelling in the 60s was about music and sex. But we've evolved past that, now its about Twinkies, texting, and finding ways to not get laid. It's kind of like Woodstock, if Woodstock totally sucked.

“I sort of think the six-pack abs obsession got so prissy it stopped being masculine”- Aaron Hicklin.

The key to masculinity:

You may notice the lack of females, food supply was short.

Fat Source: http://www.nytimes.com/2009/08/13/fashion/13POTBELLY.html

Old people can rest easy tonight, President Obama has made it clear  there's no plan to  'pull the plug on granny'. In fact, Barack loves old people! When he was talking about end of life care, he meant extra packs of Depends and new bubble wrap for their furniture.

"I'll check it out right away Ms"

"Hey Bill I think I hear some knocking on the door"

"Please! You're just trying to distract me! Not gonna work, take your beating like a man"

"No really Bill I think I hear someth-"

"Alright motherf*ckers, I'm gonna need to see some ID"

"Officer, there must be some terrible mistake! This is my home"

"English motherf*cker do you speak it? Show me your ID"

"Here it is officer"

"What the f*ck is that? That ain't no ID"

"Please!  I have friends, they can sort all this out I promise"

"The only friend you're about to make is my foot up your ass. Now get in the trunk"

"I believe Mr. Gates acted stupidly"

"Oh, he should be here soon!"

"First thing's first Mrs. Clinton... Is Bill back there? He must be tired from Korea! What's it like living with a hero? Oh oh what's Bill's favorite dish?!"

"I'm pleased to say Bill is doing an excellent job as secretary"

"Don't you mean Hillary sir?"

"Who?"

"She's the woman sitting next to you Mr. President"

"I'm not too good with names Jim, I'll have to get back to you. But Bill, he's a great guy"

"Hey mom do you know when dad's gonna be back?! Mom.. Why are you looking at me like that?"

"Yeah, Mrs. Clinton where's Bill at? We'd love to meet him! Mrs. Clinton?"